Part 5 The redemption

He steadied himself against the tree and loosened his tie a bit.He needed a drink.A strong one at that.Downing a Bloody Mary he searched for his wife.She was thankfully still in conference with her friends and seemed too preoccupied to notive the arrival of his nemesis like a blast from the past.He kept his fingers crossed.He did not want the two women to meet.Of course She would never recognise her,but what if a casual comment by one of her friends told her that she was here?He knew She would not fly off the handle and have a showdown but he just did not want Her to see the face that had tormented him for so long,a face that he had so lovingly sketched sitting on the last bench,but now it all seemed a mockery to him.He could not leave the party either because it would not look good to leave so early.Inspite of his promotion to the upper echelons he still had to climb the ladder there.He was not a veteran to come to parties late and leave early.Caught between the "devil" and the deep sea he decided to stay on but avoid her at all costs.Not knowing how she would react when she saw him,he made serious efforts to make himself inconspicious.He did not keep himself in one place for too long,constantly moving around in a orbit that afforded him a clear view of her but at the same time kept him well hidden from her range of vision.His mind was a maelstorm of thoughts and rage.Should he confront her?What would she say after seeing him after so long.He had left abruptly,not giving her the courtsey of a good bye,he had not recieved her calls,he knew she was not calling because she missed him because she wanted to confirm that he had really gone away.Her emails went unanswered.How fake were those words.She had actually taken him for a fool.He had seen through her machinations.The sorrow had been replaced by rage and then by hatred.However he managed to notice that she was unaccompanied. A brief commotion stole his attention.A guest in an inebriated state was being lead away by the waiters into the house.When he turned back he had lost her in the crowd.Cursing himself he looked around but could not see her.He looked at his watch and decided it would be approprite to leave and went in search for the host to thank him for the invitation and complete the societal formalities of commenting on the beauty of the house.He was looking around for him when he heard his name being called out.Turning around he saw his guest waving to him.What he saw next nearly took his breath away.How could they know each other?Was it all a bad dream?Why now?They were walking towards him.There was no esaping now.He stood rooted to the spot.His guest was introducing her to him,but all he heard was a cacophany of sounds...Images flashed in front of his mind's eye..Like a film reel run amock images and voices from a buried past started screaming in his head..Regaining his mental composure he snapped back into the present.The host had left them,she was looking at him.Like a frightened animal who had been dreading this day.
“Hi,how are you?” she asked tentatively
“What do you think?”
“Look I am really sorry…I did not realise what I was doing.I was young and foolish…Please forgive me..I cant justify what I did was right…But I can ask to be forgiven by you..Tweny years I have spent repenting for my actions..Nightmares plague me..People I thought to be my friends left like rats leaving a sinking ship.The man for whom I threw you into the ring cheated on me..That’s when I realised how it feels to be cheated..To have your trust trampled upon….”
He stopped her in mid sentence,”You think I will forgive what you did just because you went through the same experience?You deserved it.Things have a way of coming back..You think I will forget twenty years of being roasted in my pain and say,it’s alright?You haven’t repented.Not at all…Trust trampled upon?What do you know of trust?It sounds like a slur from your mouth..Don’t you dare talk to me about love either…I was a fool to have trusted my love into your hands..You broke it like a infant breaks a toy..Carelessly and without any remorse whatsoever..How could you be so cold hearted?So inhuman?All your friends knew about it..And yet you carried on..I was treated like an animal whom you made jump through the hoops to your whims and fancies…You….”
He was loosing it…Taking a deep breath he composed himself and went on,”That night after your birthday,I heard your friends talking about it..Did you even open to see what the birthday present was?How could you since it was lying in the dustbin?They way you played me after day..Acting innocent as a lamb..But this time I was prepared for it..Earlier when you refused to come to movies and shopping with me,you gave me an excuse that seemed so genuine..Later I realised your excuses were just that-excuses so that you could cheat on me..You were my first true love..Unfortunately it was one sided..I lost trust in people after that..My friends could not understand me..I don’t blame them..The state I slipped into,I was paranoid about everybody..Had I not met my wife,god knows what I would have done…I pity you..Pity the state you are in…Thrown out by me and by the man for whom you destroyed me..Tell me how does it feel?Live through it now..And do me a favour-get out of my life..Forever…Leave me alone…”
He turned his back and walked away.He did not glance back even once..Did not see her collapse on the grass,racked by sobs...He searched for his wife and found her saying her good byes.They left..The night was cool..He wound down the windows..A bleakness had started to spread through his mind.It felt as if the monsters within him had just been reawakened..Recalled from the pits where he had thrown them..He clutched his wife’s hand as he tried to push them back..
“Are you alright?” his wife was asking him
“Yes,sure…Just a mild headache..”
He clutched the steering tightly..A cold rivulet of sweat ran down his forehead..Fearing his wife might ask too many questions he let off the grip from the steering..His wife’s next question threw him off balance..
“Who was that woman whom you were talking to?Quite good looking I must say.”
“Somebody whom I met long time back..Recognised me after a long time.I had totally forgotten her..Funny what time and distance can do to you.” ,he replied nonchalantly.
The road was winding..Both that ran under the car and in his mind..One would come to an end soon..The other was endless as always...

THE END